


no one can replace you

by wvvjin



Series: woochan's adventures as parents [5]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Character Death, Family Feels, Family Trip, Fluff and Angst, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I made chan suffer, I'm Sorry, M/M, Things will get better, character death!!!, just in case you didnt see that, read if you want to know who died
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-24
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-04 23:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17907551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wvvjin/pseuds/wvvjin
Summary: “i love you.”“i love you too, chan. more than anything this world can offer.”





	1. the only reason in this world is just one, it's you

“i’ll take him out for a drive. go to sleep, chan,” woojin bounces a wailing jeongin on his hips, rubbing soft circles softly on his back to calm him down. chan doesn’t seem to be too fond of the idea, woojin judges from the wrinkles formed on his forehead. the younger of the two adults sighs. 

“it’s late. we have a long journey tomorrow,” chan whispers from his place by the door. his eyes are watery, and woojin can tell it’s because of the lack of sleep and the amount of sleepiness coating his being. he stops rubbing jeongin’s back to grab chan’s hand, squeezing it tightly. 

“i’ll be just a moment. i won’t go far, just around the neighbourhood. please? innie won’t sleep,” woojin’s voice is laced with worries, and chan feels bad to admit that late-night drives will definitely help jeongin to fall asleep better. he uses his free hand to rub on his eyes, forcing the sleep-induced tears out of them.

“alright. please-” chan stands up straight, looking directly into woojin’s gentle eyes, “be careful.”

woojin nods, a small smile tugging on his lips. “i will, love. go to sleep, okay? i’ll be next to you when you wake up tomorrow.”

chan places a kiss to his husband’s cheek, noticing the way jeongin is sniffling quietly on his shoulder. he takes the child in his arms and kisses him on his forehead, wiping away the streaks of tears on his cheeks. the child has been suffering from nightmares since the first day chan and woojin took him in. all the sleepless nights, the bloodshot eyes, the trembling little body and the night drives that either chan or woojin had to go on. jeongin sleeps a little better when he gets home after the drive, soft puffs of breath coming out of his mouth. that’s why chan can’t deny woojin’s request; it’s the only way to calm the child down. 

woojin comes back after fetching the car keys, a jacket wrapped around him as a layer of protection against the cold night air. he holds up a blanket in front of chan and the younger holds jeongin out for woojin to wrap the blanket around their youngest son. chan grins at the small bundle in his arms, mouthing ‘jeongrito’ to woojin which earns him a slap to his arm.

“maybe i should come with you.” woojin puts on his shoes as chan cradles jeongin close to his chest.

“and who’s gonna stay here with the kids?” 

chan pouts and woojin kisses him softly on the lips, chuckling. “i won’t be long, love. don’t wait up for me. get some sleep, you haven’t been sleeping well these past few days.”

chan wants to say some more, to argue that he has been sleeping good, that he has gotten a lot of rest. but his body betrays him instead, a yawn escaping past his mouth as woojin smiles. he pats chan twice on the cheek before heading out. 

chan’s pout doesn’t leave his lips until he goes into minho’s and changbin’s room to find the two cuddling on the older’s bed. changbin must’ve woken up in the middle of the night and made his way to his hyung’s bed. 

those two are not the closest despite being close in age, but minho will always be there to help changbin when he couldn’t fall asleep. minho has always been protective of the younger children. he is always the first to approach the rest when they first arrived, to take their hands in his and walk them on a tour around the house. he is always the one who stops a child from getting into a fight with another, to tell them to talk about it calmly instead of screaming at each other. chan would like to believe that minho is a reliable older brother. he acts nonchalant around his siblings, but secretly watches over them from afar. he rejects love and affection from changbin and hyunjin, pretending to be disgusted by them but chan would keep it a secret that he would kiss them on their cheeks when they’re asleep. 

chan’s smile grows wider when minho turns to his side, pulling on the younger’s tiny waist by instinct. he walks over to the kids’ bed and pulls minho’s blanket over the top of their shoulders, minho’s breath fanning the top of changbin’s head. chan adjusts their pillows before heading out to the next room. 

jisung is sprawled on his bed, blanket thrown hastily across his stomach. the second oldest of the quads is in deep sleep, chan is sure if he is to turn on the lights, the soft snores coming from the child won’t stop. he walks over to him, pulling down the shirt that rode up his abdomen and placing the blanket properly on him. he sees the cut on jisung’s forehead, the one he had gotten the day before because he’s just too determined to catch hyunjin that he trips on his own two feet and knocks over the few toys scattered on the floor of the living room. chan could feel his heart skipped a beat when a wail made its way throughout the house, recognizing the owner of the voice instantly. jisung is lucky not to get anything into his eye, or chan wouldn’t know how to forgive himself for being too careless with his children. the child whines, eyebrows scrunching up cutely when chan’s cold hand comes into contact with his warm skin. he sighs. who is jisung without a few scars and cuts once every few days?

seungmin stirs from his bed across from jisung, arms stretching above his head and knocking into the bedframe. chan winces when seungmin cracks his eyes open, squinting at the person who’s been sitting on his sibling’s bed in the dark. 

“dad?” he croaks out and pushes himself up on his elbow. chan shuffles over to him, shushing him and patting down his messy bed hair and the child straight away melts into his arms. chan pulls him a little closer and nuzzles the top of his head. seungmin is not one to openly receives affection from either his parents or his siblings. except for when he’s really upset, he’d rather do his own things and keep everything to himself. it had only been two months since chan and woojin adopted jisung when seungmin came into their foster care. he was very quiet, followed woojin around like a lost puppy, didn’t want to play with the other kids and opted to stare out the window every time he got the chance. jisung, however, had gotten pretty aggressive with the slightly younger boy, daunting and poking fun at him, but seungmin never retaliated. the day he finally did, both were kept in a room with woojin for two hours, soft cries could be heard from behind the door. chan never asked what happened, so when the kids came out of the room hand in hand and woojin looked somewhat pleased with himself, chan just smiled and hoped they never have to go through that kind of situation again. 

chan peeks to see that seungmin has finally fallen asleep again, so he shifts the child until his back is properly resting on the bed instead of being halfway across his lap. he peered through the railings of the top bunk, making sure hyunjin doesn’t have his leg dangling by the side of his bed and felix is warm under his covers. closing the door softly behind him, chan yawns for the sixth time that night since he’s woken up by jeongin’s wails. he decides to try and get some sleep without woojin by his side. he does have a lot to do early tomorrrow.

\--

woojin has been driving for 10 minutes now, and it usually doesn’t take this long for jeongin to fall asleep in his car seat. the child continues staring out the window, the streetlights flashing in his eyes one by one. the tears has stop a few minutes into the drive, but woojin keeps one hand on him, just in case he starts crying again. he’s gone around the neighbourhood two times now, but jeongin isn’t sleeping so he turns left instead of going straight and out into the main street.

the first two months after adopting jeongin was the hardest time for everyone in the house, especially for woojin and chan. they were not prepared for this. jeongin was a spur of the moment decision, all it took was one visit to the foster home for woojin and the moment he set his eyes on the small bundle of joy sleeping soundly in the crib, he knew he had to take him home. chan and woojin had initially want to put jeongin’s crib in one of the larger rooms with three of their kids, but the nightmare episodes started, which prompted them to move him into their own room so they could keep an eye on him. he stayed there for a few months, until minho came in one night when woojin was trying to get the youngest to calm down and demanded to hold him. jeongin quieted down instantly, nuzzling into minho’s shoulders. the nightmares have been scarce since he’s been moved into minho’s and changbin’s room, only one or two coming back once in a while.

jeongin has his small hand clasped around woojin’s much larger one, squeezing and squealing softly when something catches his attention. woojin thinks he is too wide awake to go to sleep and it tempts him to just go back home and turns on the television for the kid to pass the time. at least he won’t endanger anyone’s lives, driving around in the middle of the night while being half passed out. 

“shit!”

woojin slams on the brakes, hands flying in front of jeongin instinctively. his breathing is rapid, shoulders shaking and eyes wavering. the child starts crying, and woojin turns on the hazard lights before unbuckling jeongin’ seatbelt from his car seat and pulls him into his chest. 

“shh, it’s okay. it’s okay, sweetheart, you’re fine,” he whispers into jeongin’s hair, trying to calm his erratic heartbeat and clammy hands. he checks his surrounding. no one is in sight, but woojin is very sure someone just dashes in front of his car. he pats on the child’s back, placing soft kisses to his hair and cheeks. when jeongin stops crying, he attempts to put him back in his car seat but the child’s grip on his jacket is deadly as he screams in woojin’s face. he sighs. this is going to take a little bit longer.

\--

“you got home pretty late last night. what happened?” chan can’t ignore the rather pale man getting dressed in front of him, not when he notices the slight tremble of his hands when he pulls on his jeans. woojin avoids eye contact, smiling softly as he buttons his shirt. 

“nothing. jeongin just couldn’t sleep so i went for a drive a little bit longer, that’s all,” he mumbles as he strolls over to place a kiss on chan’s jaw. chan maneuvers him into a tight hug and buries his face in the elder’s shoulder. woojin tenses up for a bit and circles his arms around chan’s neck. they remain like that for a while, sharing each other’s body warmth and appreciating the silence wrapping them at the moment. chan keeps his arms cozy againts woojin’s thin midriff as the elder sways both of them slowly side to side. 

time alone is definitely a blessing, something that both chan and woojin will appreciate once in a while. living with seven growing kids can be really exhausting and hectic, and even though they love their kids with every single piece of their heart, it can take a toll on them mentally and emotionally. just being able to hold each other for a while every day recharges their energy, a silent reminder that they have each other’s back. 

“remember when we took minho in?” chan whispers against the soft fabric of woojin’s shirt.

“yeah.”

“remember what we said?”

“to be together until the end of time.”

“yes. parenting is hard, but we’re in this together, aren’t we? we promised. i promised you that,” chan pulls back, cupping his husband’s jaw and looking into his eyes. the distraught look in woojin’s eyes betrays the small, comforting smile he offers. 

“yes, i know. i promised you that, too.”

the nagging voice in the back of his head won’t stop, so he sits woojin down on their bed, arm thrown across the elder’s shoulder. “you’re still upset, i can see that. i’m not going to push you to tell me about it, but we can just cancel our trip today. we can just stay home, if that’ll make you feel better.”

woojin’s eyes are wide and frantic when those words left chan’s mouth, his hands quickly searching for the younger’s. 

“no, no. we can’t do that, we promised the kids! i’m sorry, i was just tired from last night. we have to go on that trip, we can’t break their hearts,” woojin says, kissing on chan’s knuckles to convince him. it is not enough to satisfy chan, but he knows better than anyone else that woojin would do anything, if it means their kids would be happy. he lets out a resigned sigh. kissing woojin softly on his lips, chan reminds him that he is here, and he always will be.

“i love you.”

“i love you too, chan. more than anything this world can offer.”

\--

jisung climbs into his seat cheerfully, screaming at seungmin for fun and swinging his legs back and forth. the slightly younger child, although a tad bit annoyed by the loud noise so early in the morning, tries his best to match jisung’s energy as he is excited too for their first family trip. minho slumps in his seat, grumbling under his breath. chan just rushed him through his breakfast because they’re running late and now he has an unfinished tuna sandwich in his hand. jeongin is still fast asleep when woojin buckles him up in his seat so minho turns around to face the two younger kids. jisung and seungmin stops their bickering at their hyung’s glare. 

felix argues with changbin about who gets to sit in the back, so hyunjin just sneakily moves past them and straps his seatbelt over him with a grin. when the two looks dumbfounded and ready to fight, chan pulls on the back of their shirts and asks them politely to sit in their seats because they’re leaving soon. kissing their pouts away, chan helps them buckle in and close their doors after he’s done. woojin beckons him from his car and chan jogs over.

“you’ve locked the door, right?”

“for the sixth time, my love, yes, i did,” chan places a small kiss to the tip of woojin’s nose, cupping his jaw and pulling his face closer. woojin smiles, and chan covers his lips in a desperate kiss. he can hear minho fake gagging and groaning at the back, and jisung screaming and yelling at seungmin to close his eyes. he can feel woojin smiling through the kiss, moving his lips in sync with him. he doesn’t exactly know why his heart beats faster, why he feels a slight shiver running up his spine. he doesn’t know why there are tears threatening to fall down his cheeks. 

perhaps it’s the way woojin’s hand encloses around his wrist, how the large palm makes he feel really small in front of the elder. perhaps it’s the way the morning sun shines on them, casting a soft glow around them. perhaps it’s the way woojin is seated, the sun shines from behind him and makes him look ethereal. perhaps it’s the way chan’s eyes are blurry because he just loves woojin so much.

“i love you.”

“i know, sunshine. i love you too. be careful on the road?”

“yeah. you too?”

“i will.”

chan pulls away, sighing as changbin lowers the window and yells for him. he and woojin shares a look before the elder bursts out laughing, still holding to chan’s wrist.

“your kid is missing you. go ahead,” woojin says, nudging chan towards his own car. chan whines, walking away as his wrist slips from between woojin’s palm. woojin hooks his pinky with the younger, forcing him to turn and look at him one more time. woojin offers a gentle smile.

“i love you, okay?”

“ugh, daddy! i love you too! let’s just go!” seungmin cries out, fiddling with the soft toy in his hands. woojin laughs once again, his soft voice floating into the air and making its way into chan’s head and heart. 

chan knows they have to get going if they want to make it to the beach before noon, but he really has to go and kiss woojin one more time. 

“i love you too. so much.”

chan sprints back to his car, apologizing to the whining changbin and turning on the radio for hyunjin. the latter recently started listening to idol group songs, and instantly despises everything other than that. he doesn’t even want to listen to the children songs woojin put on every morning for jeongin, demanding for got7 songs to be played instead and mumbling that children songs are for babies. minho almost threw a spoon at him, yelling “you’re a baby!’ to him.

chan peeks at the rearview mirror to make sure woojin is right behind him as they merge into the highway. traffic is light since it’s still quite early in the morning, but chan knows it’ll get busier the longer they’re on the road. he’s feeling slightly nervous, judging by his damp hands and his inability to properly answer felix’s questions. he drives down this road every now and then, there’s no need to feel anxious. but he can’t help that he keeps looking into the rearview mirror. he takes a deep breath, convincing his heart that everything will be fine.

\--

minho sighs exasperatedly for the fourth time, which sends woojin into a laughing fit. jeongin wakes up two hours into the drive, and minho tries to entertain him by handing him toys for him to play with as he attempts to read from a story book for woojin. the youngest son just ends up throwing everything minho hands him and still whines for more. 

“i’ve told you, don’t throw that away. we’re out of toys now because everything is on the floor and i can’t pick it up for you!” minho scrunches up his eyebrows to look intimidating to the younger, and woojin has to coo because minho just looks like an angry kitten. 

“hyung, give this to him,” seungmin hands minho a soft toy in the form of a shark which is almost as big as jeongin himself. minho doesn’t even know when seungmin sneaks his favorite toy into the car, he can’t miss it because the thing is huge. regardless, he still takes the shark from seungmin’s hands. the latter then quickly returns to his rock-paper-scissors game with jisung. 

“if i give you this,” minho holds out the dark blue shark to jeongin, hands quick to retrieve it back when jeongin moves to grab it, “don’t throw it again. okay?” 

his voice raises at the end, but jeongin whines and minho just shoves it to his hands, rolling his eyes as he resumes reading. seungmin cheers happily in his seat when he wins the round for the ninth time in a row, jisung’s limbs flailing wildly at his own lost. he sucks in a deep breath, staring seungmin down.

“if i win this last round, you have to build sandcastles with me at the beach later! minho hyung too!”

minho’s eyes goes wide at the mention of his name, turning around to face his younger siblings abruptly. he locks eyes with seungmin. 

“seungmin-ah, please win this.”

jisung counts down, and when seungmin throws out a rock, jisung yells so loud even woojin winces from his driver seat. he waves his hand in front of seungmin’s eyes, showing proof of his first win in a while. both seungmin and minho groans out loud, shoulders slumping and losing all energy. woojin chuckles at his children’s antics.

“kids, be nice to jisung.”

“yes, daddy,” minho juts out his lower lip as he puts away his book. seungmin starts giving out ideas on how big should they build their castle and specifically mentioning how changbin is not allowed near it. minho suggests an idea to dig a moat around the castle and fill it with water to keep the enemies out, but jisung is quick to point out how they’re going to get to the castle if there’s water surrounding the place.

“we can build a bridge! the one that can be pulled up! ugh, i don’t know what it’s called, though,” seungmin pouts, eyes searching for woojin’s. he knows his daddy will always help in times like this.

“it’s called a drawbridge, seungmin-ah.”

“strawbridge?” jisung asks, eyes large in curiosity. woojin wants to pull over and laughs for a good five minutes. 

“drawbridge, you-” 

“minho. what did i say about bad words?”

“it’s bad. i’m sorry, daddy,” he grins, teeth shining in the sunlight filtering through the tinted windows. jeongin seems to be having fun munching and chewing down on seungmin’s favorite soft toy, but as long as he doesn’t throw that away too, minho is going to let him have his moment. 

woojin notices that chan is not going as fast as he always does, but he doesn’t complain. traffic is getting busy as the clock strikes 10 in the morning, and woojin would rather be safe than be fast. but some other people doesn’t think about that. they don’t think about the people on the road, they don’t think about the consequences of their actions. some people are just ignorant, woojin has accepted that long ago. others can be just plain stupid.

the harsh light of high beams blinds him first before the sounds of honking hits his ears. he doesn’t get to think about why this driver has his lights turned on when it’s already morning, because the way the car whizzes past the other cars sends woojin into a panic. the kids seem to be unaware of the situation, so woojin tries to keep his composure to not worry them. 

the black car comes to a screech next to woojin, and the sudden abuse on the brake pad sends the car skidding and jerking harshly to the side. woojin hears a soft gasp from minho, too shocked to say anything else as he watches the car with its driver still inside comes flying towards them. jisung’s shrill scream pierces the air one last time and a lone tear flows down woojin’s pale cheek. there’s nothing he can do. the impact sends his car tumbling to the guard rail, and there’s a loud ringing sound in his ears. and then everything stops.

\--

the kids never get to build their sandcastle, and woojin never gets to keep his promise.

\--

chan is numb, to everyone and everything around him. he’s lost count on how many times he has to excuse himself and hide in the restroom, until he can breathe again to face the guests. he doesn’t know where jaebum and jinyoung bring the kids to but as long as they won’t cause a scene in the funeral home, chan is glad. he pulls out his phone, back sliding down the door to one of the booths in the restroom as his legs give out under him. jinyoung sends him a message, telling him how hyunjin and felix are currently sleeping, and changbin is still crying in jaebum’s arms. he’s attached some photos, but chan can’t bring himself to see it. he can’t bear to see his kids so heartbroken, so devastated. not when he can’t be there for them. not when he has to be here and welcome the people coming to pay their last respect. 

a knock comes on the door, someone asking him if he’s okay. he recognizes the voice as yugyeom’s. wiping his tears on his sleeves, he opens the door to reveal the man towering over him, worried look plastered across his face. 

“chan, are you okay?”

“yeah, yeah. just give me a moment. i’ll be right back there,” chan mumbles, clearing his throat a few times. yugyeom pats his shoulder once, giving it a firm squeeze and reminding him that he’ll be outside. chan nods.

the man in the mirror is not chan. chan doesn’t have his eyes bloodshot red because woojin would always make sure he gets enough rest. chan doesn’t have tears rolling down his cheeks because woojin would always make sure he wipes it away before it manages to make its way down. chan doesn’t have messy blond hair because woojin would always brush it for him on the days he feels too dead inside to be able to do anything. chan doesn’t have hollow cheeks because woojin is quick to prepare some food for him whenever he realises chan hasn’t eaten. chan doesn’t have trembling lips because it’s always pulled into a smile whenever he’s with woojin. the man in the mirror is not chan.

chan died when woojin died.

three days goes by without chan realizing it, and now when he’s standing in the observatory deck of the crematorium, the dread he’s been pushing into the back of his head is finally settling in. he’s lucky to be able to get the cremation of all five members of the family happening at the same time, that way they won’t have to camp out here any longer than they have to. chan just wants to get it all done and over with.

but when the workers rolled in the smallest coffin into the cremation furnace, chan wants to scream. he wants to yell out for them to stop, for them to stay away from his son, for them to take his life instead. but the world doesn’t work that way. and chan has to see his kids rolled into the furnace, and hear changbin’s, hyunjin’s and felix’s desperate cries for their daddy. he has to stop changbin from running into the room, he has to hold a struggling hyunjin in his arms, he has to trapped a wailing felix against his chest. three is definitely a smaller number compared to seven, but chan would do anything, anything to have eight bodies around him instead. 

the world is unfair, but there’s nothing that chan can do. he has to continue living for his kids. they lost a father, they are not going to lose another.

\--

“dad, whose house is this?” hyunjin holds a piece of blanket to his chest, the one he’s picked out the night before from the plethora of blankets in jeongin’s closet, looking up at chan with big doe eyes as they step in front of the big gated house. felix looks scared so changbin goes over to his side and wraps him in a side hug. chan crouches to meet their eyes. 

“this is our new home.” a teary smile makes its way on chan’s face, as his three kids stare at him. they don’t understand, why would they need a new house? there’s not as many people now as it used to be, even the apartment feels empty and lonely with just them. a bigger house means there’s a bigger space that will be left void. and felix doesn’t want to run around the house for 3 minutes just to find someone that can comfort him from his nightmares. he wants to be able to jump down from his top bunk to join a snoring jisung on his bed. 

“why are we moving here?” changbin asks, shifting a little before chan pulls them away from the people moving the furnitures and belongings into the house. chan for once, doesn’t have the answer. how is he supposed to tell them that he anticipates warm welcoming hugs everytime he returns from work, but the only thing he gets is the whirring sound of lights turning on and the chilly tiles. how is he going to tell them his insomnia is getting worse and he can’t sleep because no matter how warm it is under the blankets, a part of him still feels very cold. how is he going to tell them that no matter how much he tries to forget, he still sees woojin in every part of the house. he needs a closure. his kids need a closure.

“actually, i’ve bought this house a while back, for all of us. but,” he chokes on a sob, tilting his head up to stop the tears, “anyway, it’s closer to the beach now. isn’t that cool? we can go there everyday,” chan says with a small smile.

“but seungmin isn’t here to build the sandcastle,” changbin murmurs, looking at his shoelaces that came undone a while ago.

“we can build it for him. okay? let’s go now. i’ll show you your rooms.” chan’s voice is shaky as he stands up and maneuvers the kids through the mountains of their belongings in the porch. he smiles and greets the workers as they walk through the house, quickly going up the stairs as to not bother the men working in the living room. the first door to the left is painted white, with a small whiteboard hanging at the front that displays changbin’s name. the said child looks up at him as chan nods, silently encouraging him to open the door. 

the walls inside are also painted white, with a single bed in the middle of it. changbin plops down on it, noticing how the morning light streams in from behind the soft flowy curtains hanging from the windowsill. his table has all his books arranged on it, with a few more additions from minho’s collections. he turns away before the memories flood in. “can we go see hyunjin’s and felix’s room now?”

the quads has always want to stay together despite how small the room might be. so when chan had the chance to buy the house, he picked the second largest room for them so that they can stay close to each other. four single beds won’t fit in the room, but chan figured they won’t mind their bunk beds being brought there instead. but they don’t need four now. that’s why there’s only two of them right across each other. chan fails to notice the slightly upset look flashing in changbin’s eyes. 

“if you each want a room to yourself, there’s another empty room across the hallway,” chan voices out as he lets the kids wander around the room. changbin walks the perimeter of it, slightly wondering if his bed would fit in here. hyunjin drops the blanket he’s been holding into the bed and joins felix to rummage into the box of their toys. felix picks out a small, soft squirrel toy and places it on his desk, lining it next to the number of toys that have been displayed on it already. chan notices how changbin lingers around the room and walks over towards him.

“hey, is something wrong?” changbin flushes when chan sits him down on felix’s bed, scratching the back of his head. 

“i don’t want to stay alone in my room.” his voice comes out very low and quiet that chan has him repeating it until he understands the child and when he does, he ruffles changbin’s soft hair and tells them to wait in the room. when he comes back, there are two men trailing behind him that are quick to rearrange the beds with chan’s orders. 

“kids, changbin will be staying in here. is that okay with the both of you?”

it’s the first time in a while that all three of them light up and start cheering happily, engulfing each other in giant hugs as they jump around. chan misses their loud voices and excited chatters. ever since the accident, everyone tiptoes around the house, no one screamed or yelled at the other for taking their toys or ran after someone for tripping the other. changbin didn’t talk for a week, and if chan didn’t force him to eat, he’ll just lay down on minho’s bed and stare at the ceiling. hyunjin and felix both preferred to sleep in jisung’s and seungmin’s bed respectively, keeping the fairy lights that seungmin insisted woojin to buy on. the fairy lights he knows he has to help set up in their room when everything is settled down.

“okay kids, calm down. let’s go see my room so you know where you can hide when you play hide and seek.”

“but dad, you’re just exposing the place! everyone will know where to look next time!”

“oh, sorry felix, i never thought about that.”

\--

“dad, oh my god, jeongin’s tree grows some flowers!” after a few more surprised yelling and footsteps stomping down the stairs, hyunjin and felix appear in the backyard, where changbin and chan are tending to their small garden. chan doesn’t notice the small bud of flowers blooming from the tree, so when changbin yells out for him, he drops the rake and rushes to the other’s side. 

“it’s pretty early in the spring, though?”

“yeah, but peaches do blossom early in spring. do the other trees have flowers too?”

“i don’t think so, dad, maybe not yet. they’re all peaches anyway, they should blossom around the same time.”

“but daddy’s tree always blossom first.”

“listen, if jeongin is still here, he’ll be 16, and i believe this is his rebellious stage, blossoming first without waiting for the others.”

“i hate how correct that sounds.”

“don’t you guys have classes to attend?”

“oh, shit, he’s right. come on, lix, we’re gonna be late. see you later, dad!”

“aren’t you gonna say goodbye to me too?!”

“changbin hyung, you ate my last piece of cake last night. i’m not looking forward to even see you at breakfast.”

“ugh, dad, your sons are assholes.”

“but you’re my son, too.”

“oh god, you’re right,” changbin groans, dropping the water hose in his hands as he walks over to close it off. chan smiles at the five trees lining up in their garden. burying their ashes beneath the trees makes him feel a lot better. somehow, chan wants to believe that his beloved husband and kids are reborn into the nature, blooming and growing fruits for his family. he wants to believe that they’re all here, although not physically. but they’re all here, in this house by the beach that woojin and his four kids didn’t have the chance to visit. they’re all here, laughing and cringing at chan’s terrible dad jokes. they’re all here, together as a family.

“let’s get inside, i’ll prepare a lunchbox for you before your class.”

“dad, please, i’m not 6.”

“are you sure?”

“what is that supposed to mean?!”

the sky is bright blue, reflected on the ocean as waves upon waves hit the shore. the birds are singing as hyunjin and felix sprint to the bus stop, catching on the right bus to get to their class on time. changbin cracks open an egg on the pan, determined to get his own lunchbox done by himself as chan watches from the kitchen counter, a cup of warm lavender tea in his hands. the wind blows through the trees and into the house, sending a rush of peace and tranquility as it ruffles chan’s soft locks. he smiles.

chan is home.


	2. i'll promise you that i'll stand by your side

_the beach was pleasantly empty and quiet when chan got there. the distant caws of seagulls pierced the fresh air and chan walked the short distance to the shore, close enough to let his feet soaked in the salty water. the waves crashed against his pale feet and slipped through his toes. the clear sky offered no shelter from the sun shining brightly on his head, but the steady and gentle breeze prevented him from sweating profusely._

_the children shrieked in the background, immersed in their little tag game. a body slammed into his thigh and he turned to see seungmin panting and laughing as he tried to hide himself from minho. the older child grabbed him from around chan’s legs and seungmin struggled to free himself before running away once again, loud cackles leaving his lips. chan registered himself shouting for them to be careful._

_jisung was filling up the bucket to complete his sand tower as woojin watched from behind him, slightly shielding him from the sunlight and smiling softly at him when he successfully flipped the bucket and lifted it up to reveal a small tower. jeongin watched unamusedly from the side as he was too busy chomping down on a strawberry woojin gave him earlier._

_minho dramatically ran into a crouching woojin’s arms as his legs gave out under him. seungmin jumped on woojin’s back and quickly sliding down when the older man grunted. chan thought woojin was getting too old for that. he let a smile broke on his face as he walked towards them._

_jisung’s chatty and loud voice, seungmin who got confused with jisung’s instructions to fill the bucket with water, a whiny jeongin who pulled on woojin’s sleeve for more strawberries and minho who was still slumped over his father’s lap, making no effort to get up anytime soon._

_and then there’s woojin. sweet, beautiful woojin. manly woojin. caring woojin. amazing, dorky, adventurous, strong, dependable woojin. chan’s woojin._

_chan remembered how there were quite a few ‘woojin’ at the university, and how yugyeom just look mildly confused whenever he ranted about a certain woojin, asking whether it’s a lee woojin or a kim woojin._

_“it’s chan’s woojin, stupid.” he could still hear bambam’s voice, clear as a day. it’s the first time he referred to him as his woojin, and chan liked it so much he kept calling the elder by that nickname for years to come. woojin rolled his eyes a few times, but he couldn’t hide the fact that he liked how that nickname rolled off chan’s tongue._

_it’s chan’s woojin. kim woojin who belonged to bang chan. kim woojin who said yes to becoming his boyfriend, even if he’s half drunk and probably crying in the bathtub at a party he hated. kim woojin who said yes when chan asked him to move in together, no matter how shitty his excuse was. kim woojin who said yes when chan shakily proposed to him, in the awful winter weather and on the slippery road. kim woojin who said yes when chan wanted to adopt one son. when chan wanted to adopt another son. and another. kim woojin who said yes when chan promised jeongin would be the last one they’re adopting._

_kim woojin who belonged to bang chan. and chan’s minho, jisung, seungmin and jeongin. they all belonged to him. but now they belong to the angels._

__

 

“dad? are you okay?”

 

“oh, felix. when did you get home?” chan gets a little startled at the deep voice from behind him. felix comes next to him and shrugs.

 

“just now. me and jinnie are walking home but then i saw you here so i just wanna check on you,” felix says, shoving his hands into his pockets and staring off into the horizon.

 

“the sunset here is really pretty. it’s been 15 years and i still can’t get over how beautiful it is. each day is always different than the others.”

 

“yeah. that’s why i bought the house here,” chan smiles as he rests his arm on felix’s broad shoulders. when does his kids grown so big?

 

“because daddy loves sunset?”

 

a soft sigh makes its way past chan’s lips. “yeah.”

 

“do you miss him?”

 

“every day, felix. every single day.”

 

“i miss him too. and minho hyung, and sungie and minnie and little jeongin. if he’s still here i can assure you he’ll be a brat.” the two laughs as felix tries to lift the sullen mood. chan ruffles his styled hair and felix whines, pulling his hood over the top of his head.

 

“but you guys are gonna love him, anyway.”

 

“he’s just too cute! we can’t help it,” felix pouts and chan chuckles. he loops his arm around felix’s and begins to walk to their house, tugging his son along with him.

 

“someday, you’re gonna meet him again, and the others too.”

 

“and you’ll reunite with daddy. for now, you have to make do with just me and hyunjin. and changbin hyung too even though he ate my cake.”

 

chan laughs as he looks up towards their house to see hyunjin running out barefooted. “let’s go, your hyung is making dinner.”

 

“i’ll order some takeouts, then.”

 

“hey, have some faith in him.”

 

“at this point, i have none.”

 

“dad, changbin hyung burnt the pasta!” hyunjin yells from his place at the small gate at the side of their house, furrowing his eyebrows and looking extremely disappointed. his hair is a complete mess and somehow there’s flour on his cheeks. chan sighs when he reaches hyunjin, wiping away the flour with his thumb. changbin peeks his head from the back door, smiling bashfully.

 

“can we order pizza?”

 

“i thought so, changbin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote something? idk but i dont wanna waste it so here it goes

**Author's Note:**

> i'm sorry? i cant write angst so this is probably worse than any of my other fics but if you read it, thank you for reading! i want to end this series somehow, and this just kinda pops in my head so i just spent a whole weekend writing it so please tell me what you think about it. do you like it or do you hate it or do you hate me, tell me everything! 
> 
> chapter title is from got7 take me to you. stan kings, stan got7. 
> 
> once again, thank you so much for reading! i'll see you guys later when i write some more woochan lolol stay safe kids ^^


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